| Failure
Failure, what a burdensome word. Even though I've been thinking
about this word and its rainbow of meanings regularly recently, after
last nights occurrence this word has been seemingly on my mind
nonstop. What truly constitutes a situation or a person to be a
failure though? Is it simply not reaching your intended goal, or
perhaps giving up when situations unseen arise? Could it be showing
fear, mistrust, or questionable judgment?
I believe failure forms from a complicated concoction, if you will,
of a number of these questionable traits and doings. It comes from not
following precedent, not following in the footsteps of those wiser and
more experienced. Mostly though, it comes because human beings, in all
our own esteem, are prone to failure. Those who came before us have
failed in difference respects, and the ones that care will always show
us the light, show us the path in which to take, the decisions in which
to make. Unfortunately for us boastful and egotistic humans, we cannot
accept failure until we ourselves witness first hand its disasters and
misfortunes. In our youth and obvious inexperience, we plow head-first
into dangerous, ill-fortuned situations thinking that we alone can
overcome, can prove the world incorrect by using our miniscule and
misguided judgment. It is at this time of tragedy that we learn the
meaning of the word failure, and gain a little experience and insight
to what our elders and wisers were trying to teach.
It is at these rough times, when things do not go as planned, that I
truly wished I had someone to talk to, someone to share everything
with, someone that at least can make me smile and forget. I find it
particularly strange that when things are going well in life, I find
myself getting the most satisfaction out of life just being alone, and
having the freedom to pursue my own interests and passions without
thinking of the reprecussions that I inflict on others. Maybe it is in
my youth and absurdity once again. At least the days are making me
wiser..
They say the key in life is to fall seven times and get up eight.
With every passing day I realize more and more the truth behind this
phrase. We as human are just predisposed, maybe even predestined or
predetermined to fall, to fail, to taste the wretched sting of defeat.
They key is to go on, to know that dreading on the past is no way to
live the future. I've come to accept this fact. No matter how many
times I fall, I have to get up, there is no other choice and no other
way. This is life. Everyday I reminisce to myself and I see how blurry and
complicating the emerging future truly is. What is to become of this
meaningless life as we unexpectly move foward? Who are we
to materialize into as the unforgiving sands of time slowly slip
through our forever clutching fingertips? Everyday it feels as if the
uphill battle becomes steeper and the clouds at the top become
thicker. When will we reach the peak, when will the climb become
easier, when will we finally be able to see?
It feels like I lost so much during the past few days.....parents
and friends.... People that I cared about unwaveringly,
undiminishingly, and undoubtly are beginning to fade into my fleeting
but everlonging memories. Sad how people that I wished I would grow
old with, I could not even grow up with. Maybe I do have to
lose everything before I truly begin to do anything at all. One day, I
will find out.
|
